youre lurking in front of me
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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