seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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