My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
