A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
someone owes me an orgasm
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
