i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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