after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
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she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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