he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
