so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
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He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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