I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
