You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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