You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
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