dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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