i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
