Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize