Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
