I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
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He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
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I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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