I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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