farters have to be the big spoon...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
