Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize