He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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