i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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