She said her name was "party"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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