and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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