your thong is hanging out like whoa
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
