that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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