Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
