i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
