Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Someone shattered a urinal.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
