I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
