Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
