I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
