I want you more than these girls want KFC
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize