I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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