If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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