dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
