Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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