Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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