how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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