just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Text me some of your sweat
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
