Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
