I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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