Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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