nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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