he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
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He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
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You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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