It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control should be required to get into college
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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