hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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