So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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