I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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