We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Be still, my beating vagina.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
