your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
