just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize