found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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