just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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