Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
