If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
