oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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