Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
