After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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