think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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